butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
