coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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