and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
