i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
ok first of all what the fuck
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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