We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My first STD was from a foam party
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize