I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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