Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
