oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
