may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
