all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
