The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
