what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
