This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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