Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
