So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
