her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
