false alarm. still invincible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize