I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
