ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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