btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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