i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
