I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
