Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
