did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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