I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
