Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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