He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
