that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
