only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
