You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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