let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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