i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
In America we eat man semen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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