google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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