If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
