I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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