Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
