I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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