she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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