I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
