Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
