I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize