it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
