He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize