He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
