I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
