Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
