so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
