Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
