also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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