Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize