If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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