If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
