"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
