I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
