if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
