Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
