Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
