Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
