It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
