I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize