As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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