so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
