i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
