I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
