Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
this hospital has no fireball
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
