Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
