Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
